So I’ve thought about you texting me. You text me to say something endearing, something to make me feel like you actually care. For a minute I analyze what you say, what I feel it means, what I think or feel about it.

Then I begin to think about my response. What should I say, what’s not going to lead you on, can this be twisted agter being stuck through my chest.

Then I open my eyes. And I realize I’ve been dreaming.

Then the train comes. Up and down we go for what feels like an eternity. Thoughts of freedom, of liberation. Then the thoughts change to awkwardness, and great confusion, finally ending with doubt, pain and suffering.

And I do this constantly.

At least I know what im worth.


Bet you dont know that one!

I just cant stop thinkin of you. The nights we shared, the dreams we had, the life we built.

But then you went and destroyed it all.

And I dont care. Ill forgive and forget, and wait. Every day. For your call.


Even though it’ll never come.

Hope?

Is hope real? Is it a serious thing? Am I a fool for being hopeful?

My wife left me, recently. The hope in me tells me to strive to get her back, to fight for her. The other side tells me to forget it, and that its my fault.

I’d give my kingdom, my earthly possessions, to have her by my side.

Does anyone even see this? Can anyone see my pain? Not that it would matter, I’m so invisible. No one cares. Why should I?